www.bleser.com - a personal domain

You know you're getting old when . . .

  • Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  • The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
  • You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere.
  • Your little black book contains only names ending with M.D.
  • Your children begin to look middle aged.
  • You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
  • Your mind makes contacts your body can't meet.
  • A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 years ago today".
  • You turn off the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
  • Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
  • You regret all those mistakes you made resisting temptation.
  • You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist and 96 around the golf course.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • A Fortune Teller offers to read your face.
  • Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty face.
  • The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
  • You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
  • You get exercise acting as a pall-bearer for your friends who exercise.
  • You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.